Everyday is a constant and new journey for me enabling me in uncovering my truths and lies.
The things that make me unique to the world are my truths.
The things that keeps me conformed to this world are me lies.
I get to know them more everyday. And the better I understand them the further I get from my family.
& I don't feel bad about that fact.
Things are starting to boil over with them and I can only watch the pot spill, I won't turn down the heat to comfort others and nurture my own cowardice.
For I have a strong need to feel and be courageous and I can't let that go to make others comfortable in my shadow as I grow and they stay the same.
This blog is about life. My life.
The growth of myself.
Growing includes change.
Change is something that I have been dead scared of in the past.
& While I'm not past it I am most definatly over it.
I've changed my look- permed to natural- big boned to average
Now it's time to change my mind
I've been working on it for quite some time.
Some things I have conquered like my addiction to smoking pot- which was just some kind of desperate last attempt to salvage my ties to the world-
A desperate last attempt to be normal and like the crowd.
To keep myself from being the way I truly am and have been since birth which is enlightened- I have always had a keen sense of sense that is uncommon but surely intelligent and surely graspable by anyone who is logical and sensible.
I've always been 'older minded' and smoking weed helped me kind of keep myself young and have reckless unsecured fun.
I'm past that point. I need my enlightment back. I need my shine back and most of all I need myself back.
I haven't smoked or yearned to smoke in a good three months.
I can sufficedly say I'm over that.
What else I am over is this idea that I need to see everything and everyone in the world around me and know them and what they're about.
This is something that I grew up around and never agreed with. Something that more and more people are getting into the habit of doing.
Something that is beginning to bore and depress me.
So I have decided that I will focus solely on me.
& my purpose in life which I firmly believe is to help others and bring them closer to god by helping them to see the truth in the word.
To restore hope in this world so that those whom are supposed to be in the kingdom gets there.
I have decided that watching others and getting emotionally constricted at their decisions makes me a weak individual and detracts from my purpose and fulfillment in life.
And really that what we all seem to be living for- purpose and fulfillment.
